Nevermind

I've done a lot of thinking. And maybe I'm going to come off as a bit sour. But I feel I have lost hope in some sense. I don't know where to begin. I feel like a lot of things in my life have to start from ground zero and work their way up, once again. My wall of bricks has been toppled over, and now I, alone, have to pick them up and rebuild what was once there. I am getting farther apart from my friends. I don't feel close-knit with many people anymore. My ex still wants me but I'm definitely looking for something else (which probably isn't looking for me anyway). I am a failure with my education...etc.
I want to be more than what I am. But what do I do? I sit here and sulk. How does that fix anything? Well it doesn't! And yet, here I am. Fuck!

. : I am speechless (or so I think) : .